Laundry Management by Kimberly Ripley
Is humor an important part of the parenting "tool kit"? This excerpt, from Breathe Deeply, This Too Shall Pass, shares with Humor Is Relative's readers about an unusual laundry day discovery which lead to mental debate for the parent of a teen age son. How to let him know that she knows something he may not want her to know?
Parenting woes hit hard when an unassuming mother or father becomes privy to information they'd just as soon not know. I think we've all worn blinders when discovering a hidden handwritten note or overhearing sordid details of a phone conversation. But how blind can one pretend to be when making a discovery such as the one I made a few weeks ago?
In our house and probably yours, too, the laundry is overwhelming. Doing at least two loads a day, every day of the week, is about enough to keep the smelly articles from jumping from the hamper and staging their own production of Riverdance. We have teens who change their outfits in twenty minute intervals, and smaller children who still spill frequently and attract more dirt than a construction site. Sometimes I feel as if I've grown a laundry basket. No longer a receptacle, it has become a permanent extension of my torso! It is within the briny depths of that torso that I unearthed one of the first traumas of mothering teens.
Have you ever taken stock of exactly what lies in the bottom of those laundry baskets? Think about it. When the laundry is folded, is the basket ever really empty? Of course it's not. If it's at all like my torso it still contains a few things. A large collection of used dryer sheets tends to accumulate before they are trashed. Single socks, lonely and forever abandoned by their mates, live there, soon to be relegated to some sort of disposal. I've found balls of lint, wadded up pieces of paper, an occasional pen, and oodles of pony tail holders and bobby pins. But on this particular day as I retrieved the last pair of size 6 Rugrats briefs I was stopped in my tracks by a foreign object. There in the bottom of my torso was a thoroughly washed and dried condom. I don't mean a condom housed in its neat little foil wrapper. No, I'm talking apparently used, although currently laundered.
As initial shock made me gasp, maternal instinct temporarily numbed my senses allowing for small doses of reason to enter my thoughts.
"He's eighteen," I told myself. I vaguely recalled eighteen. I remembered being eighteen in the early seventies.
"But you've preached abstinence!" my churched soul exclaimed.
Reason jumped in, "At least there are precautions being taken."
Reason did have a good point.
My mind's conversation continued until I decided I'd better take control of the situation or request counseling and meds for Multiple Personality Disorder. I poured a cup of coffee and devised my plan of action.
Recognizing the need to make my discovery known, I decided to leave a message on the washing machine.
It read, "To whom it may concern. Condoms are disposable. They are not to be washed and dried as this may cause shrinkage or breakdown of the protective latex. Signed, The Laundry Management".
I taped the note and offending, but very clean item to the washer's lid, and waited for a reaction. I never got one. The next time I entered the laundry room both message and accompaniment were gone.
I do believe, however, that my point was well taken. By not accusing, shaming, or reprimanding my son I relayed to him that I was well aware of his dalliances, and although I did not condone them, I respected that responsibility was being assumed.
I've tried to maintain a sense of humor regarding the eye-openers teens can throw our way. It's definitely been a learning experience. It keeps me on my toes. The benefit? Strong toes. And strong toes are very advantageous when the need arises to search the tops of closets!
About This Story's Author:
Kimberly Ripley is a freelance writer and author of Breathe Deeply, This Too Shall Pass. She has also written a book on writing recently released Freelancing Later in Life. Ebook copies available at Booklocker.com! A wife and mother of five, Kim has built her sense of humor based on her family's antics and travels. She looks forward to the day when she and her husband abandon their New Hampshire abode for winters in Fort Myers Beach, Florida.
Additional Humorous Stories Submissions to Humor Is Relative, by Kimberly Ripley:
Humor Is Relative's Top 12 Popular Stories:
Breathe Deeply, This Too Shall Pass
[Kimberly Ripley; 128 pages]
You've read excerpts, Laundry Management and The Boyfriend, shared here at Humor Is Relative. Now read the book by Kimberly! You will smile, laugh, and no longer feel alone as a parent to teens. Can you relate?
Indexed Humorous Family Stories Submissions:
2001 __ 2002 __ 2003 __ 2004 __2005 __ 2006
Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.
--C. Everett Koop, MD
Humor Is Relative thanks Cay Dickson, from the Houston Chronicle, for the compliment!
Telling a teenager about the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.
--Arnold H. Glasow
Think you have a funny story about your family, or moments in parenting, that our readers may enjoy? Review Humor Is Relative submissions guidelines & submit your story! Who knows, we just may like it!
Meet Humor Is Relative's contributing writers!
Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.
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I'll wager you that in 10 years it will be fashionable again to be a virgin.
--Barbara Cartland [The Observer 'Sayings of the Week', June 20,
1976]