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Set It And Forget It by Carol Wells

Should one take into consideration how television advertisements may influence our children's vocabulary while anticipating a child's first sentence? Carol may not be hearing "I love you" yet ... or is that what her son is saying in his own unique way?

When I gave birth to my son, I knew moments of 'firsts' that would soon follow. Little pleasant events as a parent to witness: first step, first word, first Happy Meal^tm, et al.

He already had accomplished one "first" of being my first male child after four daughters. I would have to set aside Barbie^tm trivia, My Little Ponies^tm, and tea parties to instead learn about Tonka^tm trunks, GI Joe^tm, and other toys marketed for little boys. Since he is my fifth child, I naively thought he would follow the traditional first sentence route his older siblings had linguistically traveled. I did not consider that he might have some of his 'firsts' a bit more memorable.

"I love you."

"I don't want to."

"More drink."

"Go bye-bye."

These were the kinds of the first sentences I expected so had been unprepared when, in 1999, our son gleefully chirped, "Set it and forget it!" Yes, my son's first sentence came courtesy of Mr. Ron Popeil; the same Ron Popeil behind the Pocket Fisherman^tm and other assorted products of Ronco fame.

Our son fell in love with the convection oven infomercial, crying in protest if we dare to change the channel while one was on. He wiggles in anticipation of when he can chant, "Set it and forget it," with Mr. Popeil, his co-host, and the infomercial's audience. My husband and I know the infomercial by heart and can play faux psychic on what will happen next that amazes and astounds our friends.

This also became his first catch phrase. [Why do they not list that line for parents to fill-in baby books?] Everything seems answerable with the simplistic notion of "Set it and forget!"

Is it time for supper? "Set it and forget it!" Need to go to the store? "Set it and forget it!" Does someone need to go potty? "Set it and forget it!"

We went on a first name with basis with Mr. Popeil as Ron truly feels part of our family with his weekly visits to our home courtesy of TV. He is, in a way, the grandfather that our son will never have. Last year I almost sent Ron a Christmas card with a picture of our son slipped into the envelope; only I was not sure the people at the convection oven address would forward it.

My husband and I looked at each other one night while having dinner out when our son happily chanted "Set it and forget it!" when the server placed a glass of chocolate milk in front of him.

"When will he outgrow his fascination for infomercials," my husband asked idly as he put the straw into the glass for our son.

"No idea," I replied as I fixed up my cup of coffee. "I thought he would never calm down after the Star Mop ad; something about the fiber's diagram had him going gaga over it. No idea why, the diagram just looked like an asterisk to me."

"Isn't there one about a guy cleaning an oven with the same stuff that he sends some folks to do laundry with?"

"Yep," I replied as I took a sip of my coffee. "He enjoys the people oohing and ahhing as they pull the clothes out of the dryer."

"The other morning, cartoons were on but he insisted on watching Ron Popeil for the seven thousandth time instead! I couldn't believe it."

"Well just be glad he isn't impressed with the hot tub one," I mused. "I never figured out how the woman knew the e-mail address of the man next door or why she didn't just walk over to ask him about it."

"I am happier that he doesn't have a charge card yet," Frank replied while leaning back in his seat.

"I am still waiting for the day when someone compliments him about something and he rattles back a string of infomercial plug lines," I chuckled. "'Yes, I made $10,000 in my first month and didn't have a product to sell. I just went from my mailbox to the bank! If I could do it, so can you! It is compact and lightweight, using advanced technology and engineering. All this can be yours not for $300, not for $200 but for just 4 easy payments of $49.99 (plus shipping handling)!"

In unison, Frank and I chanted, "'Set it and forget it!'"

Our son beamed with delight that his parents had used his familiar catch phrase. So delighted that he decided to share a new one with us: "Al Gore and George Bush!" Frank looked at me and all I could do in response was shrug my shoulders. Who knew a 3 year old would be interested in political current events?

About Author
© 1999-2006 Carol Wells

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Me Talk Pretty One Day
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This guy makes me laugh every time I hear him sharing one his stories on NPR programs. In Me Talk Pretty One Day David shares about his speech therapy (for a lisp), a brief period of guitar lessons, and more. Those of us who have tried but never fully conquered (yet found some humor in our failures) - can you relate?

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