My Mother's Child by Elizabeth Palmer Hale
Elizabeth will have Humor Is Relative's readers nodding their heads in understanding with this delightful story. The premise is simple: A child becomes an adult; that same child later becomes ill.
I rarely get sick, but when it strikes it comes barreling full force. Take for instance the time I came down with the flu.
I didn't want mom to know that I was sick because I knew she would worry about me. Mothers are always worrying about their children.
My secret didn't last long.
'Mommy can't come to the phone right now Grandma. She's lying down. <pause> She's all right; all she has is a fever. I think it 105.5 or something like that.'
From my horizontal position on the living room couch, I could hear the screech coming from the telephone receiver.
'OK Grandma. <pause> I know Grandma. <pause> I will Grandma. <pause> You don't have to tell me again Grandma.' Tyler was receiving a crash course in nursing.
'I'll ask her?' Tyler came into the living room. 'Grandma wants to know what your temperature is?'
'Tell Grandma 'It's not too high.'' He returns to the phone.
'Mommy says it's not too high. <pause> I don't know Grandma. That's what she told me to tell you. <pause> I will Grandma.'
After hanging up with a now panicky grandmother, Tyler came back to me. I'm sure he was silently wishing he were somewhere else. 'Grandma said I should put a cold cloth on your head and make sure you drink a lot.'
Not only does Tyler have to see his mother off her feet, but also he has to deal with his panicky grandmother who is trying to take care of her daughter via the telephone.
About an hour later the phone rings again. Tyler rushed to answer. It's my mom again.
'Oh, hi Grandma.' The enthusiasm is absent. 'Yes I did Grandma. <pause> She's under the blanket on the couch. <pause> OK Grandma. <pause> I know Grandma. <pause> Yes I did Grandma.'
I felt sympathetic for Tyler. He was doing such a great job taking care of me. He has excellent bedside manner. Maybe he will decide to go into medicine? Thinking of the cost of medical school, I became distracted until Tyler returned to the living room.
'Mommy, Grandma said I should take the blanket off of you.' He must have seen desperation as my eyes peeked out from under the wet face cloth. I was so comfortable under the furry blanket; I didn't want to take it off. I clutched it tighter.
He dealt with me as though I were a younger child. 'OK Mommy, we'll just lower it like this.' He brought the blanket down below my shoulders.
Later that night, mom called again and spoke with my husband. I had written a script for him to tell her, because I knew she would go crazy with worry. Mom could be a professional worrier.
He reassured her that I was feeling better and that he would take great care of me.
The next day I called her from my spot on the couch and displayed as much enthusiasm as I could muster without losing consciousness.
Trying to sound perky, she knew I was making an effort to ease her mind. She offered to run any errand I needed, make me something to eat or bring me to the clinic; all of which I respectfully declined.
I had somehow managed to get the kids off the school so I knew I would be fine alone. I thanked her and reassured her I would call if I couldn't manage.
As we talked about her multiple conversations with Tyler, we both laughed aloud. Although she wasn't caring for me in person, I knew she was always caring for me, whether I was sick or not. I am her daughter, her only child and I will always be her baby no matter how old I am.
About This Story's Author:
Elizabeth Palmer is a Canadian freelance writer, mother and wife. Elizabeth can be reached at elizabeth.palmerhale@sympatico.ca
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-- 1942 UK wartime health slogan
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They do certainly give very strange and new-fangled names to diseases.
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