... where family is the source of humor!

Car Antennae Memories by Carol Wells

My father became proud of the cars he owned through the years. He did not know how to work on cars, so the tinkering on the engine or body is not what helped him to bond to the vehicle. I suppose it is something about the male chemistry; if it is sleek, shiny, and can have a girl's name then it must be ok. Regardless of the male bonding aspect, a car can become a part of numerous family memories.

I recall some cars that my father once owned, mainly in thanks to family Slide Show nights over the years. One slide showed this curly mop-haired child, posed in front of the car, at the age of three dressed up to go to a local drive-in with the family.

Well, I thought I had 'dressed up' for the event by wearing my favorite pale blue summer dress with the stitched ducks swimming around the collar. I also decided to wear an old sailor's cap - similar to what Gilligan wore in Gilligan's Island.

Most little girls would try walking around in their mother's shoes - particularly the high heels. I went the unique route by clomping around in my father's old Pat Boone style shoes. He may have felt 'dressy' wearing those at one time. Later, by the time I was three, he only wore them when tinkering about in the garage. Perhaps it was the paint splatters and other original yet decorative touches that my mother's high heels lacked having the white Pat Boone shoes catch my young eyes?

Whatever the reasoning for my clothing tastes at that age, the picture of a young tot dressed in their 'best' posing in front of the car wearing Men's size 9 shoes on their little feet alone would been comical. Well, my grandmother standing to one side with her hand on her cheek as if silently conveying, "Oh my God, I hope they aren't going to let her go dressed like that," did not hurt either.

I would share the spectacle with you but my father's slides did not age well and some have mysteriously disappeared when my mother later moved. One of the missing ones is that above described image of me.

Another missing photograph is of my brother and I posed behind a car. I was around five or six and balancing myself on the rear bumper. My father, by this time, immersed in his hobby of Ham Radios and I was often introduced as his little "harmonic" which was Ham-speak for 'child'.

In that particular picture, I placed myself in front of the car antennae for the mobile Ham Radio unit. The early-1960's car antennae's for ham radios were ... well, hard to miss. A stiff metal pipe around 5 feet in height that one affixed to the bumper and at the top were three large round rings of metal.

I posed with my arms stretched out wide and proclaiming, while standing under those three rings, "I am an angel!" In the same picture, my brother, standing to one side of the car, had this odd facial expression with his arms crossed while looking heavenward. As if thinking, "Out of all types of sisters in the world, I got this one." Easy to guess, due to his body language, he did not agree with my proclamation of being an angelic being.

My mother did not like the antennae at all. Primarily because it was noticeable even in a parking lot filled with other vehicles. It also did not help that we lived in a town of only 10-15,000 people at the time for the car and its antennae to have a possibility of being less conspicuous.

Instead of regarding its potential helpful attributes, for locating the car in hurry, she wanted Dad to remove it when we went somewhere as a family. However, one flaw with that request ... Dad welded it onto the car's bumper.

You can imagine her delight when we went out on family outings or vacations in that car with the antennae solidly affixed to the bumper. When she noticed someone in a passing car, looking at the antennae then at the occupants of the antennae car with a curious expression, my mother would slowly roll down the window. Then she would cross her eyes and start making loud beeping noises to the people of the other car.

My Mom's way of sharing displeasure over the ham radio antennae didn't please Dad. But sometimes he couldn't help laughing at stunned expressions, of the passing car's occupants, resulting from my mother trying to 'converse' with them.

My sister was less than amused while slinking down further in the back seat hoping that no one in passing vehicles could see her. My brother and I were delighted when Mom did this and would "beep talk" along with her - which only had our sister slink even further down in her seat.

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