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Pre-Planning My Daughter's Wedding by Carol Wells

My oldest daughter isn't even engaged yet. But she is entering her 20's. Only so long before she does sit down and tell me, "Mom, I've picked my wedding date ..." It wouldn't hurt for me to start coming up with some ideas for the wedding to share with her? Of course not!

My oldest child is no longer "my baby". She has started to become a self-sufficient young lady. Sure, childish episodes still occur every once in a while but she is only 20 after all; an adult but I did not say she was always a mature acting one. Of course, I may get a daggered-look once she reads that maternal observation.

I find myself musing about what her future may be like. Wondering how different her experiences may be from my own at her age. Speculating about what hurdles she may be capable of conquering and how far she will go on whichever career path she decides to tackle. Then, inevitably, I think about her wedding day.

I have her wedding planned out. The only two things I have not planned are whom she will marry and getting her to go along with my ideas for that day. Odds are low that she will approve of my ideas even if what I have whipped up in my mind is "her", as she currently is and where her interests are at, which is also why I can say that she will disagree and put the thumbs down on it.

Allow me to explain a little. My oldest child joined a string band this past year. Now this is not just any string band group but one based out of the Philadelphia area. Those from that area may be already nodding their head in understanding about what type of string band group she is a member of but others, not from this area, may still be mystified.

The string band group follows a tradition in Philadelphia: mummery and is comprised of sax and banjo players - along with a few other instruments to help round out the sound. The members have two uniforms - the street one, which is slacks and a polo shirt combo, but these string bands more popular attire is their parade uniforms. The latter are generally brightly colored outfits accented with feathers, sequins, and other glittery light reflecting touches.

When these bands perform one doesn't dance to the music. Oh no, not in Philly! One struts to the music instead. The feet not only strut in tempo to the music but one's arms do too! Using an umbrella is optional, however, scores of people show up with a personalized 'strutting 'brella' for accenting their strutting skill.

Now my daughter enjoys being a part of the group and this tradition. Something that definitely was not offered or heard of in Indiana. It also helps that she has always loved playing music.

With the string bands already a crowd favorite at wedding receptions in the Philadelphia area, I ask you: What better idea than to blend in her love of music and this area-based tradition, she is now a part of, into her wedding? Imagine it in your mind!

Two banjo players in full costume, complete with small feathery back pieces, stroll into the room while strumming "Here Comes The Bride". No, not "Here Comes The Bride". That would not be the right music for the band to play so let us revise that part!

Two banjo players in full costume, complete with small feathery back pieces, stroll into the room while slowly strumming the intro to a popular song that crowds love to hear string bands play. The tempo of their strumming gently increases as they part at the foot of the aisle to reveal the bridesmaids, my daughter's siblings, ready to start their strut down the aisle.

I doubt I could talk them into dressing as wenches for that day as, more than likely, the girls will prefer more formal attire for their sister's big day. We can compromise though. They could carry small umbrellas, instead of bouquets, to keep tempo while making their way down the aisle.

Then - as if by magic - the rest of the band would emerge while sharing the chorus, "Hail! Hail! The gang's all here!" This would be greeted with whoops and hollers, not only by the bridesmaids but also the wedding guests, as the band launches into playing "Alabama Jubilee." The band's captain would start to strut and spin while leading the, literally, blushing bride down the aisle.

I don't know why my oldest daughter would nix this idea for her wedding. It is so her, and would be unique wedding experience for all that attended, but I have a sneaky suspicion that she will adamantly say "No way, Mom!" Perhaps if I suggested it would be optional on the bride wearing a feather and sequined back piece that this may help strengthen the odds in favor of this idea...

Humorous Book Recommendations:             [ view all ]
Autobiography of a Fat Bride : True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
[Laurie Notaro; 272 pages]
Laurie opens with enough dumped-by-loser-boyfriend stories that readers will share her skepticism when Good Guy finally appears. Soon enough they're engaged. If this sounds mature and responsible, guess again, as there are wedding plans and impressing of in-laws - along with other things. Women - Can you relate?

Oh my son's my son till he gets a wife,
But my daughter's my daughter all her life.
-- Dinah Maria Mulock Craik [1826 - 1887] Young and Old

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Humor Is Relative thanks Cay Dickson, from Houston Chronicle, for the compliment!

[John] Steinbeck asked me why I didn't play the banjo any more and I told him that went out with high-button shoes.
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