Submissions Information & Guidelines
Our goal? Sharing humorous stories, about family &-or parenting, world wide! Part of the appeal Humor Is Relative offers readers is fresh, original, but humorous stories. Another part of the appeal is readers able to relate to the family or parenting humor contained in those stories.
Do you enjoy writing? Interested in submitting a humorous story about family-life to help in this goal? Humor Is Relative's submission guidelines are simple and listed below.
NOTATION: please notice the submissions email address changed as of May 2004; I apologize for any inconvenience. 
Humorous essays and stories submissions for possible inclusion to Humor Is Relative's archives are welcomed.
Notation: Carol typically notifies people of acceptance or rejection within 60 to 90 days. However, since mid-2005, her husband's health has declined. As a result, submissions are still encouraged with the authors knowing in advance that response will take longer due to Carol's time limitations. The delayed response does not mean that the submission is rejected or not under consideration for inclusion.
Q: What kind of submissions is Humor Is Relative seeking?
A: True but humorous stories involving family. This theme does not limit itself to parenting humor.
The main emphasis being on the words true, humorous, family, and stories. Humor is Relative is not seeking fictional pieces, advice columns, political perspectives, forwarded "cute" emails, or jokes.
Q: What length, or word count, is preferred?
A: Humor Is Relative will share humorous stories as short as 350 words. One example of a short but humorous story is "My Son's Sexual Curiosity".
Longer stories, 1200 or more words in length, may be split across more than one page for ease in reading online. Examples of this handling is Carol Wells' "Fishy Story" and "Tale of Sick Kitty" and John Sheirer's "Stepfather Once Removed".
Q: How do I submit stories to Humor Is Relative?
A: Cut and paste the story into the body of an email. I receive my email as plain text so bear this in mind and send the submission as plain text - do not send it my way as an attachment or in HTML format.
Since I receive the submission as plain text - make sure, if copying from MS-Word or similar applications, to look over the story before sending. Look to see if the apostrophes are still apostrophes and that paragraph breaks are clearly indicated (identing the first line of a paragraph may not always be a clear indicator if you have made use of hard line breaks).
Email it to humor-submissions@humorisrelative.com with the subject line of Humor Submission. Please do not use the story's title or your name for the subject line but limit yourself to Humor Submission to make sure my email filter does not send your email to the bulk/trash folder on my side.
Before sending - be sure to include the author bio or byline with the story submission!
Q: Does Humor Is Relative share book excerpts?
A: If you have published a humor book, about family and-or parenting, and would like Humor Is Relative help promote it to others by sharing book excerpts. The excerpts share the same basic guidelines as stories have for possible inclusion: true, humorous, family, and stories.
Understanding that some book chapters may not always be suitable as an excerpt I will consider sharing a portion of a chapter that has a beginning, middle, and ending feel. Two examples of this "portion of a chapter" handling is demonstrated with Rudy Wilson-Gladonik's book excerpts. "And The Thump-psssh Goes On" is actually taken from the middle of a chapter in her book while "Diagnosis: Black Lab Nut" is an excerpt selected from the beginning of another chapter. However, both stories appear "complete" on Humor Is Relative (with a beginning, middle, and end feel).
Humor Is Relative will not consider teasers (sharing a beginning and part of the middle to whet the appetitite then greeting the reader's eyes with "... to read what happens next, click here to order the book!" type thought).
Q: How do I submit book excerpts to Humor Is Relative?
A: There are two ways to have book excerpts considered for inclusion on Humor Is Relative.
One method is to send a copy of the book for me to read through then contact you with a list of excerpts I found interesting. This can be as few as 2 or as many as 5 that I will be asking for permission to share through Humor Is Relative. If this appeals to you then use the email instructions in the following paragraph to inquire where to send a copy of the book.
Second method is for you to submit an excerpt through email to humor-submissions@humorisrelative.com with the subject line of Humor Excerpt.
Cut and paste the excerpt into the body of an email. I receive my email as plain text so bear this in mind and send the submission as plain text - do not send it my way as an attachment or in HTML format.
Since I receive the submission as plain text - make sure, if copying from MS-Word or similar applications, to look over the story before sending. Look to see if the apostrophes are still apostrophes and that paragraph breaks are clearly indicated (identing the first line of a paragraph may not always be a clear indicator if you have made use of hard line breaks).
Before sending, be sure to include an author bio or byline!
Q: How should I write the Author Byline or Bio?
A: Humor Is Relative shares brief author bylines or bios. These are written in 3rd person by the author and it will appear directly under the story.
Some examples that you can look at, that spring to my mind, are Lavonis Miracle ("Chickens"), Debbie Farmer ("Renegade Mom"), Glenn Arnold ("Skip The Stomach, Go Straight For The Heart"), and a few others that may help spark some ideas.
Q: May I share links in my byline or bio?
A: Yes, but the limit is three. The only ones that do not count in that limit is if you opt to have your name as an email link and, if you have a book available on Amazon, that link uses Humor Is Relative's affiliate ID.
Q: How long after acceptance before the story appears on the site?
A: To help explain a little of the method behind the madness here at Humor Is Relative: stories are not already in accepted in order of submission but, if and when accepted, it will go into the queu based on submission date on the email. sounds odd but actually works out on this side.
Story submissions may appear anywhere from 3 weeks after acceptance to 12 (or more) months. Depends on the size of the queu at time of acceptance and if the story has been allowed to being held back due to a holiday or seasonal theme in it.
How does Humor Is Relative handle multiple submissions?
A: Multiple submissions or book excerpts will be spaced out on sharing. Some authors have had multiple submissions spaced out over a year and half time period.
Humor Is Relative handles multiple submissions to allow those authors more time on the main page of the site versus sharing those accepted submissions back to back and having them, essentially, getting only one appearance on the main page.
Q: How long, if accepted, will my story appear on Humor Is Relative's site?
A: Depends on how many accepted stories are in the queu and if the accepted story has a seasonal or holiday theme.
The queu varies in size, so can be anywhere from as soon to 3 weeks after acceptance to 6 or more months after acceptance before the story will appear on Humor Is Relative.
If the story has a seasonal or holiday flavor, I will ask the author if they would allow me to hold onto the story, to share it closer to that season or holiday, or not. If not, then the story goes into the queue with the other stories in order of submission date (not acceptance date).
Q: Will Humor Is Relative give permission to other site's or individuals to share a copy of my story?
A: No. The only person who can give that kind of permission is the author or copyright holder of the story.
Any requests received by Humor Is Relative asking for such permission will be forwarded to the author.
Q: What rights or permissions am I giving to Humor Is Relative for use of my story or book excerpt?
A: When submitting to Humor Is Relative, the only permissions the author grants Carol Wells or Humor Is Relative, if-when the story is accepted for inclusion, is for HumorIsRelative.com able to share story submissions in one or more of the following means:
· Listed as one of the "Recent Stories" on Humor Is Relative's Main Page
· Top 12 Popular Stories listing (based from site stats)
· Available through HumorIsRelative.com's public accessible archives for an undefined and-or unlimited time basis that may even be for the lifespan of Humor Is Relative's site.
· Shared in a template, or layout, that was created for use with Humor is Relative's contents on HumorIsRelative.com
· Offering outside links to stories on Humor Is Relative. These, if offered elsewhere, will be prefaced with the same "teaser" as shared on the main page and intro of the story, or essay, used on Humor Is Relative's site. Typically this is the title, author's name, the URL to the story, and the one paragraph introduction spiel.
· Online Periodicals offered by the editor of HumorIsRelative.com - if site expansion allows this as a possibility. Authors will be notified if and when this is considered.
· eBooks or other sharing methods [you will be notified in advance if your story is selected] in the future - if site expansion allows this as a possibility.
· You will be credited at all times as the author. The author also retains all copyrights needed to resell or republish your work elsewhere.
Q: What if another party copies my story without asking my permission?
A: Humor Is Relative and Carol Wells is not to be held legally or financially responsible for another party's infringements of copyrights inluding any and all legal fees incurred by either party as a result of a copyright dispute.
This includes:
- Someone submitting content that is said not being their's to submit. If this is brought to Humor Is Relative and Carol Wells attention, I will remove the content in question.
- Another site owner or individual[s] copying &-or sharing content without prior permission. Again, Humor Is Relative and Carol Wells will not give such permissions on the author's behalf. Only the author has that legal ability.
A couple of sites have tried to "frame" Humor Is Relative contents, inadvertently or purposefully, without asking my permission or if I was interested. I managed to break those attempts and will try to do so if this ever happens again.
Legalities & More Legalities:
· HumorIsRelative.com &/or Carol Wells is not to be held liable, legally or financially, for any content or copyright infringments done by another party. I hope to be able to trust the writers being honest individuals therefore submitting content that is their original work or having legal permission to submit.
· Humor Is Relative's site nor Carol Wells will not give permission to an outside party to publish or share a copy of a story. The author of the article is the only person who can give such permission.
· Humor Is Relative's site nor Carol Wells is not liable for the content or copyright infringments done by another party; again, I hope to be able to trust the readers to be responsible individuals and respectful of the authors' hard work and not copy without prior permission nor plagarize.
Humor Is Relative currently does not pay for submissions. Humor Is Relative will share a biographical but brief descriptive paragraph, which the author provides, underneath the story or essay to let readers know more about the writer [up to three website links** shared].
Your name will also appear on the Contributor's Page and any requests, for your articles, will be forwarded to you.
Multiple submissions allowed but the submissions generally will not be published at the same time or back-to-back. Multiple submissions will be paced out with other authors and stories if possible. I do this to help give those pieces some individual time in the limelight and help promote the author a bit more.
The author, upon acceptance of submitted story, will be informed of when to expect their story's appearance on Humor Is Relative. Holiday or seasonal stories will be saved to appear closer to those holidays with the author's permission. Depending on the queu and theme, some have appeared on Humor Is Relative within 3 weeks of acceptance while some others did not appear up to 12 months after acceptance.
In terms of writing clips, this site would fall more under the thoughts of promotion than providing clips.
** Book links will be shared to Amazon.com, when possible, using this site's affiliate information.
Humor Is Relative's Top 12 Popular Stories:
- The Laundry Management
- My Son's Sexual Curiosity
- 'Color'ful Musings About Gray Hairs and Hair Dyes
- There's A Hair Club For Men; How About A Blue Hair Club For Women?
- How To Kill A Chicken In Three Generations
- Quibbling Sibling Rivalry
- [TIE] Flour Babies 7. [TIE] The Boyfriend
- How Would A Woman Hide Illegal Breasts?
- Conversations With Mom
- My Father-In-Law
- The Garbage Disposal
- The Tunnel of Doom
Indexed Humorous Family Stories Submissions:
2001 __ 2002 __ 2003 2004 2005 2006No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.
-- Samuel Taylor Coleridge
Humor Is Relative thanks Cay Dickson, from Houston Chronicle, for the compliment!
A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.
-- Hugh Sidey
Meet Humor Is Relative's contributing writers!
When one of my children ask, "Did you have to tell that story?" I tell the child, "Yep! It was my chance to be the center of attention ... thanks to you."
-- My Mom
Don't Put Lipstick On The Cat
Debbie Farmer, Jana Christy
Life in the Fast-Food Lane (Surviving the Chaos of Parenting)
Debbie Farmer, Shauna Cramer
Take Heart! True Stories of Life, Love, & Laughter
Rudy Wilson Galdonik
Simply Southern
Cappy Hall Rearick
Available in hardbook.
Family Life & Other Strife
Linda Sultan
Being Miss Behaved: Humorous Essays For The Politically Incorrect
Catharine Bramkamp
Free Chairs
John Sheirer
Saying My Name
John Sheirer
Shut Up and Speak!
John Sheirer
Freelancing Later In Life
Kimberly Ripley
Breathe Deeply, This Too Shall Pass
Kimberly Ripley
Write Now! What Are You Waiting For
Kimberly Ripley
Lily's Gift
Kimberly Ripley
The Ghost of Useppa Island
Kimberly Ripley
Humor helps us to think out of the box. The average child laughs about 400 times per day, the average adult laughs only 15 times per day. What happened to the other 385 laughs?
-- Anonymous